another day with icepyramids in my baileys

Because i forgot the password of our dream blog "ice pyramids in baileys" (yes i did) i am writing down here today. And why I am writing via my plain English is basically the result of another cup of baileys with some ice pyramids in it. (Second time, same feelings flying inside...) Probably I will want Rassa to read it and instead of translating later it is better to write in English now. (even i am not able to express everything via it, but it is ok i guess. we are among friends, isn't it?)
The day ended by watching "Once" and "Heima" one more time. Now in the background the soundtrack is brushing my brain. (How lovely I am torturing myself... Good on me..)
It is getting colder and colder. Not a fresh news i know, but it is important to give hints about the circumstances in order to explain the mood in a right way, right? There is gonna be a Mogwai concert in a couple of days in Stockholm. And probably, again, I won't be able to go. I became a scumbag here. Obviously... Everyday it is gettin harder and harder to get out of bed. Always this weird sadness. No no, I am denying to be called as a "hunted by Scandivain Depression". It is certainly not one of that kind of depressions when people kill themselves out of it. It is more bitter-sweet. Like my baileys with my sweet ice pyramids. Like spoiled milk. Relaxing and disturbing at the same time. I haven't lost my faith on anything yet. No, I haven't. Still I can dream of making music again. Still I can make music in my head. Still I can dream myself walking by the ocean next to Porto, my green skirt flirting with the wind... Still I can dream myself having a beer in Nevizade in İstanbul, and in peace... Someday... In peace, in my own country... Yes I can even dream peace, why not?... Still I can dream myself filled with love and have nothing to worry about to survive, to run the boat anymore... As I told: I haven't lost my faith yet.
It is bitter sweet now. Although the weather is making the city lovely, it is freezing inside of me. You see? Even the climate is bitter-sweet...
I haven't lost my faith... I am still and will be seeking for "Neverland"... Maybe after a couple of more baileys I can see it in my dream?!?
Here is the final song for today...
And in final, it is good to be able to breathe... Isn't it?




When your mind is made up...

so..
if you want something
and you call, call
then i'll come running
to fight, and i'll be at your door
when there's nothing worth running for

when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to change it
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to stop it

you see, you're just like everyone
when the shit falls all you want to do is run, away
and hide all by yourself
when you're far from me, there's nothing else

when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to change it
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point even talking
when your mind's made up
when your mind's made up
there's no point trying to fight it

so, if you ever want something
and you call, call
then i'll come running.

the journey from milk to water

i was alike pure white milk.
(at least that was what i used tı assume myself as)
one day i realized that
i was tired,
and even
could be called as old,
could be called as boiled water:
with no flavor,
with no color,
and in a cup with flowers
waiting to get colder...

bir troll üm bir de ikinci el sallanan sandalyem var artık... sallanan sandalyem minicik... minik bir teyzenin sallanan sandalyesi olduğunu düşünüyorum...

bir "battı fish is yan going" klasiği...

evet evet...

tam şu dakika sıkıntıdan patlıyor ve yalpalıyorum... yer yer solungaçlarımdan hava alırken, kutuplardan basık, ekvatorlara doğru şişik dünyamda belki de fiziksel olarak mimkinatı olmayan bir oksijen yetersizliği içerisindeyim... ve pek tabi ki odaya hava dolduracak "cam açma" aksiyonunu da soğuk havadan mütevellit alamıyorum... 

çok seviyorum seni isveç... 

götümü donduran ikliminle ve her hafta yazmak zorunda olduğum makalelerinle bir başka güzelsin...

bu haftaki makale konumuz: the rise of the creative class... bunun şerefine derin bir "poffffff" benden....

bir de bugün anlamsız yere cabbar'ı özledim...
o cabbar ki şimdi öner ailesinin isve-türkiye hattında iletişimine hizmet etmekte...
"yorulmadın mı be cabbar?" der bağrıma basardım şimdi olaydı yanımda...

(tip not: yandaki fotoğrafta ekmek arası ekmeğe eşlik eden cabbar avrupanın en batı yakasında (portekiz-faro) kader arkadaşlığı yapmakta. yııııl:2006 olsa gerek.)

moon festival

Asyalı arkadaşların cuma gününden hatırlattıkları üzere bugün "fool moom festival" i kutlanıyor dünyanın bir yerlerinde. nedir bu fool moon festival diye bakarken şöyle bir şeye denk geldim:


"The Mid-Autumn Festival, also known as the Moon Festival, is a popular East Asian tradition of Chinese origin, dating back over 3,000 years , that spread to neighbouring cultures like Japan. It was first called Mid-Autumn festival in the. The Chinese Lantern Festival is held on the 15 day of the first lunar month."

"The Moon Festival is also a romantic one. A perfect night for the festival is if it is a quiet night without a silk of cloud and with a little mild breeze from the sea. Lovers spend such a romatic night together tasting the delicious moon cake with some wine while watching the full moon. Even for a couple who can't be together, they can still enjoy the night by watching the moon at the same time so it seems that they are together at that hour. A great number of poetry has been devoted to this romantic festival. Hope the Moon Festival will bring you happiness."

İşte bu yandaki de ballandıra ballandıra anlattıkları "moon cake".. Yapabilselerdi eğer, bunu kemirerek bakabilirdim bulutsuz gökyüzüne bugün.. Fazla dramatik kaçmayacağını bilseydim "kiss the rain" açardım yanına hatta...

"...keep in mind: we are under the same sky

and the nights, as empty for me as for you..."

resim...

...